Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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