i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
