p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
