Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
