And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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