My hand turned me down
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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