Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
