Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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