i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
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