I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
