You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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