You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize