im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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