If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
