I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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