I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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