I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I cut my penus on the lid.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
