that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
