So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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