Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
