maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
