In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I CAN MOONWALK!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
