there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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