Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
