your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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