i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
