If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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