okay pat passed out under dana's car
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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