Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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