I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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