If that was your dad, he is hot
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
