So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize