I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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