Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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