were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
