I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
