Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
