Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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