You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
