We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
