I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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