I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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