Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
