If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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