I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
