When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize