just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
