mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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