Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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