i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
True college students do jello shots in the library
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
