We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
