sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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