shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
