You can't special order awesome
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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