i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
