Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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