mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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