I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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