I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
