All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
